The end of the Utah Lake lawsuits

The final hearing in the LRS vs. Abbott lawsuit was today at 2.

Last night, I couldn't fall asleep. I texted my friend Greg Carling to see if he wanted to go for a morning ski tour to clear my mind and calm my heart. He said yes, and we met up at 5:30 this morning. There had been about 4" of new snow overnight, and the clouds were still thick and low.

We climbed 3,000 feet up Big Baldy's pyramid ridge. The snow in front of us and the trees in the mist were all we could see.

As we approached the summit, we knew the sun must be coming up, but it was actually getting darker as the clouds converged. Ridges are places of turmoil and twisting tides. Good places to reach, bad places to stay.

We took off our skins and dropped down an absolutely ridiculous run. A natural halfpipe of powder, pine, and peace.

As we skinned back up, the clouds started to part. However, it wasn't until we reached the ridge that we could see what was actually happening.

The ceiling had dropped, and the valley was blanketed wall to wall with clouds. We were just above it.

I said a prayer of gratitude to witness such beauty and power. We are surrounded by light, though we can't always see it.

We had to descend through the blanket to get back to the road. It felt like rewinding time. Spooling back from midday to early morning. With the remembrance of day in our hearts, the cool, powdery dark was a comfort.

At the hearing, the judge ruled that LRS had no basis in law or fact for suing me. In addition to being ineffective, LRS' tactics to silence me and other whistleblowers were illegal. For the first time in more than a year, I can see over the clouds.

After the hearing, I ran into a student who said she had emailed last year to join my lab. The missed opportunities, stolen time, and list of disappointments weigh down my body and soul. I am sincerely sorry for those I have let down. I am sorry to have emotionally and physically missed a year of my children's childhood. I am sorry for being short, cynical, and erratic.

I am grateful for God's grace and all of your sacrifices. You have tolerated my moods, unavailability, and utter failure to stay on top of basic responsibilities. Thank you for your generosity of spirit, your patience, and your companionship. Not even the darkest path can quench the light when we walk with friends.